I thought saying good-bye would get easier with time. This is my third time moving overseas. I won’t even begin to count the amount of times I have moved out West and have said goodbye to my friends and family in the East and vice versa. Saying goodbye does not get easier, it gets harder.
When I was 19 and went to college it was no problem! I think I literally thought, get me out of here! When I was 21 and moving to Banff for the first time, I was sad, but I was young and I didn’t think much about what I would miss not being home (and really, I was ready to go and experience the world). 14 years later, at least half a dozen times moving from East to West and back again, two trips to China, Africa, and now Singapore, goodbyes are harder than ever.
I can’t exactly pinpoint when and why they got harder but here are a few ideas I have come up with. For those of you who say goodbye a lot, I think you might understand what I am saying. For those of you who might think it is easy for us to just up and move overseas, here is some insight as to what we are feeling inside.
Marriage and Kids
Most of my friends are now married with beautiful children – or are getting married and already have children. Seeing these little humans grow up over Skype is hard on the heart. These little people are growing up so fast and it really sucks not being here for their birthday parties, christenings, weddings, dinner parties, walks with the dog, Sunday volleyball, and everything else that goes a long with the things you celebrate with friends.
My parents are getting older
While I would like to believe that my parents are going to stay the same age forever, they are not. With each passing year I want to spend more and more time getting to know them. Skype has actually helped our relationship a lot. Because I live overseas we have to try a lot harder to keep in contact. In reality I actually see my parents more than I would if I lived in Canada, however it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to them every year and know that I will not physically see them for the next 11 months. Building a closer relationship with family makes it really hard to say goodbye.
My sister is Awesome
My sister and I were not close growing up. Our relationship has taken a very long time to develop. Over the past two summers when I have been home I have felt more love and respect for her than my heart can handle. She is a beautiful human and being far from her makes my heart hurt. I want to be close so that we can share more than one week a year together. Having a sister is a pretty special gift, and every year it gets harder to be away from a person that after 27 years of her being on this earth, I am just getting to know her.
Friends
I have a pretty strong bias, but I believe I have some of the best and most beautiful friends in the entire world. I am so fortunate to know some very awesome people that live in some places that are very far away from the areas I move to. Keeping in contact and maintaining friendships living so far away takes some effort. I enjoy the time that goes into maintaining these friendships via snail mail, phone calls, Skype, and visits. But to really keep these people in my life at a level that I would like them to be at is difficult sometimes. Ironically, if I hadn’t moved to all these lovely places in Canada and overseas I would not know the awesome friends that I have. This year I found it really difficult to see everyone who I love in my life and spend quality time with them. I wasn’t able to do it and that sucked. It really, really sucked.
So why do it?
So why do I continue to move overseas and cry my face off every time I leave friends and family? It’s not a simple answer, and one that I am not even sure I know.
When you get on that plane, and you are in a new place, and those goodbyes are far away, you can see the new adventure beginning, you can feel your comfort zone expanding, and more beautiful people about to appear in your life, you then realize that it just might be worth it. You realize, this is my journey; this is the path I am supposed to follow.
It would have been easy to stay in Ontario, especially this year, honestly. But, I left the house, got on the boat, got in the car, and I will get on that plane today, regardless of the doubts I have. I know that when I land in Singapore the excitement will start – and so will the Skype dates, phone calls with friends, I will see their kids grow, I will hear about their wedding’s, and bachelorettes, and births, and about all the adventures my friends are on, I will see photo's and cry and be happy for them, and new people will emerge in my life, and old friends will write, and for me, a new journey begins.
